I turned to look at Kao as he placed his hand over mine over the hand rest. He turned to me and smiled nervously.
"It's my first time flying." He grinned.
I was surprised and rolled my hand to clutch his tightly. "Then hold onto me."
He tightened his grip on my hand and the welcome on board announcement broke off. I pulled our hands over my mouth and kissed his hand. He blushed and looked out of the window.
It was an hour long flight and he was excited like a kid. He watched the clouds with adoration and would turn to me to crack lame jokes. It was the most interesting one hour long flight of my life. It just passed too quickly and we landed on the rainy runway.
We collected our luggage and walked to the exit and with each step I took, I grew nervous. I knew there was someone waiting for us. It wasn't something to be nervous about but I was. Extremely. Before we walked out the door, I stopped on my tracks and pulled Kao to a corner.
"What happened?" He asked, looking up at me in concern.
"For the next few days, we won't be able to stay like this." I said, watching his face fall.
He nodded. "Yeah, I know but-"
I pulled him into a hug, just hoping he would stick together with me no matter what.
He exhaled and patted my back. "Okay, let's go."
Puai had come to pick us up along with a driver and she ran over to give me a hug as soon as we walked out the airport. Well, it was surprising as she had always been cursing me out over the phone to not come back home as she was liking all the attention she was getting at home.
"Let's get going already. Mom is cooking your favorites." She said, pulling away and punching me on the stomach lightly.
I squeezed her cheeks. "Just say you missed your dear brother."
She stuck her tongue out.
I turned to Kao who was watching us intently with a nervous face. "Hey, this is my younger sister Puai."
He muttered a hi with a smile.
"He must have told you a lot of bad things about me but those are all lies, okay?" Puai smiled, throwing me a glare.
I shook my head. "This is Kao, my...colleague at school."
"Nice to meet you." Puai reached out to shake his hand.
We had to drive carefully as the roads were narrow and it was raining heavily. Puai was bursting music in the car, singing along loudly. Kao and I were at the backseat, just lost in our own thoughts. I leaned closer to him to whisper in his ear over the loud music.
"Welcome to my little town. Just know that it rains a lot here and the sun barely shows up." I said.
He turned to look at me with wide eyes. "So it's true. You are a vampire, living in an area like this."
I chuckled.
We reached home within another hour and reunited with my family. Mom was extremely happy and did what every mom does- complain about how thin I had grown. Dad was out of town and would be back before my birthday. I introduced Kao to mom and for some reason, they got well together. I could see a different type of spark in Kao's eyes when he met my mom. Maybe he felt home. Mom took a liking to him instantly and I was glad for it.
I took Kao to the guest room which was at the far end corner of the corridor that led upstairs to my room. If I happened to open the door of my room, the guest room was the first sight directly down the little flight of stairs.
"I love your town, Kwan." He said as I closed the door behind us and locked it.
"You haven't even seen it."
He shook his head. "I love places like this. Hills, mountains, lots of trees and forests, and rain. I love how natural everything is. The place is beautiful and so are the people here." He placed his luggage down and walked over to hug me. "Your mom is so sweet. She reminded me of my mom."
My heart felt heavy.
He pulled away and looked up at me fondly. "Let's never go back to the city."
I smiled, reaching out to caress his face. I leaned down and pecked his lips. "Let's do that."
He giggled. "Show me your room."
My room was still the same. Things were untouched. Mom had taken a good care. I plopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
"You all do love books a lot, don't you? I saw a massive bookshelf in the living room too. Look at all those books." He was awed, looking at my collection of books.
I closed my eyes. "We like to buy books everywhere we go but most of them are still untouched."
"Your room is cozy." He sat on the bed, jumping up and down. "Wow, the mattress is so soft." He laughed.
I grabbed on his wrist and pulled him on the bed with me. We looked at each other and smiled.
"Are you tired?" He asked, tracing the hollows of my eyes.
I nodded. "I didn't sleep well."
He smiled. "You are home now. Rest. I am going to go change." He started to get up but I grabbed on his wrist and pulled him back.
He looked at me with surprise.
I shifted and wrapped my arms around him, placing my head against his chest. "Kao, no matter what happens, please stick by my side, okay?" I asked.
"What are you talking about?"
I took a deep breath. "I am saying in general. Okay?"
"Is something wrong, Kwan? You have been quite absentminded the last few days."
"It's nothing. Just promise me."
"I promise."
We changed and went downstairs. Mom had already set the table out for us and Puai was already seated. We took our seat and mom served our food on the plate.
"I missed your food." I said, picking up my spoon.
"Eat a lot." Mom laughed happily and reached out to caress Kao's hair. "Let me know if you need anything more. Today everything is made of Kwan's favorite so I am not sure if you will like it."
I glanced at him.
"I am already liking it. It smells delicious." He grinned.
I smiled and shook my head. Mom looked pleased.
We all sat down to eat together and mom chatted with Kao. I was worried when she asked him about his family but he handled it naturally. He didn't let any kind of emotion flash on face and answered everything. I frowned as his answers were surprising. I didn't know about those things too, like he being appointed as the school doctor only for a few months. He was going back to be working at the hospital by march.
I left him with mom after our meal. My head had started to throb violently and I seriously needed some sleep. I lied down on the bed and closed my eyes. Several thoughts rushed over, clouding my judgement. I couldn't focus only on one thought. Everything was jumbled, layering one by one. And just like that I fell asleep.
My family had always been open-minded about everything but I still doubted about how they would react to their son coming out as gay. They probably wouldn't be able to accept me for it but there was no way I was going to lose Kao again. He had lost everything because of me. Yeah, I was the one to blame. He was kicked out of home because of me and I wasn't there when he needed me the most. He had to rely on his friend who used him for his benefits. He hadn't been leading a happy life and I wanted to give the world to him. I wanted him to know that he was the center of my world and I could do anything for him. But mere words weren't enough. I needed to show him what he really meant for me. All I hoped was that he felt the same for me...
I woke up in the evening and rushed out as soon as I opened my eyes. What was he doing? He wasn't in his room nor in the living room. I couldn't find him and I grew anxious. I dialed his number and he picked up at the firth ring.
"Hi." He greeted and his tone sounded excited. I could hear noises in his background.
"Where are you?" I asked.
"Oh, Puai brought me to the local market. You were resting so we didn't want to wake you up."
I let out a breath of relief. "Okay. I am coming."
"Wait!" There were some shuffling noises and he was back. His voice was quieter this time, almost whispering. "You don't have to come here. What would Puai think?"
"What would she think? I don't care. I planned to take you out in the evening so I can just pick you up from there."
He exhaled. "Kwan..." He trailed off. "Okay, come."
I hanged up and quickly rushed to get ready.
I grabbed my father's car keys and drove to the local market. As I drove, I felt relaxed by the sight of familiar roads and places. My small town was beautiful. The decoration from Christmas were still up. The little fairy lights twinkling on trees, the jingle bells on the porch of homes. Everything was welcoming. It had always been like that. Once the town would celebrate something, they wouldn't put down the decorations for days.
I reached the crowded local market and called Puai. She panicked for a moment when I told her I was at the market and wanted to know where they were. She asked me to wait at the entrance. It took them ten minutes to come out of the crowd with bags filled with essentials.
"Why did you come here?" She asked with an annoyed tone as she reached me.
"I am here to take Kao. He wanted to see the town." I said.
She rolled her eyes. "Okay, go ahead. I am gonna go back home. I came with the driver anyway so yeah, enjoy your trip." She patted Kao's shoulder, threw me a glare and walked away with the bags of essentials.
We watched her as she reached the car across the parking lot and the driver helped her put the bags in. We remained silent until she hopped in the car and drove away.
Kao turned to look at me. "Why didn't you tell me you came home to celebrate your birthday?" He asked.
I looked at him in confusion. "I thought you knew."
He let out a breath. "How would I know?"
Oh. I had been celebrating his birthday without missing a year. Maybe he forgot mine. "Yeah, right. You wouldn't know." I said and...it came out really wrong. My tone sounded rude and sarcastic and I could see the change of expression on his face.
"I...I am sorry. Oh my god. I am so sorry. I just..." He realized it and grew anxious.
I took a deep breath and reached to take his hand. He quickly pulled his hand away, looking around. "It's your home town, Kwan. There are people you know all around."
I withdrew my hand. "Okay, let's go."
We walked back to the parking lot where I had parked my car. It was a dark and empty area. As soon as we reached the car, I grabbed on his wrist and pushed him, pinning him against the car. He looked up at me in confusion.
"What are you doing?" He whispered.
I gritted my teeth and leaned forward to press my head against his forehead. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I had been really upset with everything for some reason and I didn't mean to snap at him.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that." I apologized.
He reached for my hand. "I should be the one apologizing. I forgot your birthday. It's just that the days have been really up and down so it left my mind. I swear I remember it every year but just this time when I should really remember, it left my mind."
I opened my eyes and leaned back. "You do?"
He nodded. "I do."
I smiled, feeling a lot better. I didn't really want to think that but it was crushing me down. First, his reaction killed me when I asked him to introduce me to his friends then second, he forgot my birthday. I just felt like his feelings were fading.
"Now, where do you want to take me?" He asked, smiling.
"Anywhere you want."
For some reason, assurance and reassurance was a thing for me. I needed to know that his feelings were intact.