Credit : heartindebt
Summary:
their relationship was a much more introspective thing, alice knew. it was almost a devotion, a worship between their two states of mind.
"i wanna hold you when i'm not supposed to, when i'm lying close to someone else."
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alice felt comforted by her husband; that much was true. she didn't want to think none of this had mattered. but what else would her feelings suggest, if not the expiration, the invalidity of her affections?
it was not without great trepidation that alice explored these emotions. she could not tell whether or not this was natural, a curiosity when already enveloped in another's soul.
she could not remember any uncertainty with jasper. he had been, for lack of better words, her only choice. the only natural assumption, that finding him was her next step. who could deny the visions of such clarity and peace?
so she hadn't. and there had been no contest that would make her question the definition of her love. he had filled every expectation that could come of a projection from the supernatural. and she hadn't been unhappy, there had been no gaps that another would fill.
it was not the absence that worried her. it was the additions. what could be if things were different, how they were different, how a firm hand would feel replaced with a soft, tender, manicured one, pressing to her chest--
she sighed again, and jasper smiled a tight-lipped reassurance. it was no doubt he knew of her conflict. she did not speak of it; they didn't need to. he watched her with loving support that both comforted and killed her.
if she were not already dead, she would have perished from the emotions brewing within her.
their relationship was a much more introspective thing, alice knew. it was almost a devotion, a worship between their two states of mind. that was not to say that rosalie and emmett were not, but she had seen much more physical intimacy between the two.
it was not as if they were secretive about their passion for each other, anyways.
she wondered if edward respected her enough not to intrude. but, surely, he knew this as well. this was the downfall of having gifted siblings. at least her gift was not so intrusive; she wasn't sure her personality could keep her from asking questions, attempting to help.
but it was also not edward's nature to impose. he preferred to allow someone else the control of divulging their thoughts.
but were these thoughts, or fantasies? really, did it matter?
rosalie watched her with confusion too.
alice's nature was to project: to control the crowd before they could control her. and she thought sometimes she overdid it. but she couldn't help it: knowing something someone else didn't-- at least, she assumed it wasn't public knowledge in the household, excluding edward and jasper-- made her nervous.
but, god, everything about rosalie did.
she was exquisite, and her confidence was provocative to alice's disorientation.
her long legs and perfect hair; her piercing eyes and the way the "ice queen" melted with an angelic smile, radiating warmth that grew from the depths of her blazing soul.
because, yes, alice thought rosalie's soul was a brilliant incandescence. and she had gathered from jasper's past that a flame was the only way to destroy their kind.