There was a little one growing inside him. Xue Yan could feel it. Every breath, every movement reminded him of that undeniable truth.
But he had no money, no stable job, and no one to rely on. The thought of raising a child in such circumstances filled him with fear. He didn't want to make life unbearable—for himself or for the child.
And my bastard father… and his son—they'll mock me, he thought bitterly. I can't face them like this, not pregnant, not vulnerable.
The anxiety rose until he couldn't hold it in anymore. That's when he found himself sitting in a sterile white office, staring blankly at a doctor.
"Doctor… can I get an abortion?" he asked, his voice firm but hollow.
The doctor looked at him, expression softening. "Sir, you have a human—someone like you—growing inside of you. At least feel some sympathy. The child has done nothing wrong. Have you… have you discussed this with the fath—"
Before he could finish, Xue Yan cut in sharply, "Doctor, can I get an abortion or not? I've already thought about this—about the child's future. Do you think I came to such a decision easily?"
The doctor paused, his voice calm. "I understand. But here's what I suggest—go home. Spend some time reflecting. Connect with the life inside you. Just for a week. If after that you still feel the same way, then come back. We'll talk again."
"Fine," Xue Yan said flatly, grabbing his bag. "I'll think about it, as you suggested."
After leaving the hospital, he didn't go home immediately. Instead, he took a long walk to a quiet, familiar place—his mother's grave.
Kneeling beside the graveston, he let out a long breath. The silence there, heavy with memory, seemed to wrap around him like a blanket.
"Mum… it's me, your son," he whispered. "It's been two weeks since you left me… and everything has been falling apart."
He forced a small laugh, though it trembled. "You won't believe it—the very day you died… that same night, I was raped."
His voice cracked.
"Sob… sob… And now, Mum… I'm pregnant. I don't know what to do. I thought maybe if I got an abortion, it would make everything easier. I don't have a good job, no steady income. You know how hard life was for us already. You always said you feared for me once you were gone."
He lowered his head, tears soaking the earth beneath him.
"I know the doctor probably thinks I'm heartless for considering abortion. But I'm not. I'm not. He doesn't know how hard it was for me to make this decision. I had to think about this child's future—what kind of life they'd have if I brought them into this world, unwanted and unprepared."
Then, almost as if something brightened in his memory, he smiled faintly.
"But Mum… do you want to know something amazing?"
He wiped his face with the sleeve of his hoodie.
"You wouldn't believe it, but… I heard the baby's heartbeat today. It was the tiniest, softest rhythm… like a song playing deep inside me. You could barely see anything on the screen, but that heartbeat—it was clear, real, and… beautiful. I couldn't believe there could be another heart beating within mine. I was shocked, completely overwhelmed."
He sat there for a while, speaking quietly to her, like he used to when she was alive. Pouring out everything. After a long silence, he finally stood up, his heart a little lighter, but his mind still clouded with uncertainty.
As Xue Yan turned and walked away from his mother's grave, something stirred in the distance.
A shadow shifted at a nearby grave—one not far from his mother's.
A voice, low and ancient, echoed softly through the wind.
"My dear son… it's time you woke up. You've slept long enough. If you stay like this, Su Yan—your husband—might be taken from you."
As if that voice struck some hidden chord, a figure emerged—eyes sharp with clarity.
"Father," said the awakened figure, "I'm sorry I kept you waiting. But I'm back. And I'm ready to take what's mine."
"Good," the man in the shadows said with satisfaction. "But remember—
once we leave this place, we are not family. We are strangers. Distant relatives at best. If we act otherwise, we risk losing everything."
"Yes, Father. I promise. I won't disappoint you."
And with that, the two vanished into the shadows, unaware that it was already too late—Su Yan had already been taken, a child now between him and another.
Meanwhile, Xue Yan, lost in thought, wandered into a nearby grocery store instead of heading straight home.
Since I have a week to think, he reasoned, why don't I treat this child well in the meantime? Feed them properly, just in case… just in case they do stay.
He picked out fruits, vegetables, and a few nutritious snacks. He remembered the doctor's words—"eat healthy"—and for the first time in a long while, he did something for himself. For both of them.
And as he walked out of the store, a soft wind brushed against his skin.
For a moment, it felt like his mother's hand.