I am not able to talk with people so I started to avoid socialization.
But, that doesn't mean I have no friends.
I have my one and only friend who is also my best friend and he is Dylan.
I don't know how but each and every time when we move to the new places I was able to see Dylan as my neighbour.
But, he makes me feel good.
I love when he is around me because I have a great crush on him since childhood.
But, I don't think he feels about me the same way I feel about him.
I thought to tell him about my feelings but I haven't told him thinking that it will affect out friendship.
I don't want to lose such a great friend.
I don't want my feelings to affect our friendship.
I just hope if he too feels the same.
I have talked about my Mom, my best friend Dylan and about myself too.
But I haven't talked about my father yet.
Because I know nothing about him to say
I don't even know him.
The only thing I know is that he is dead.
It's been sixteen years since his death.
My Mom doesn't want to talk about him.
So, I don't ask her silly questions which will make her feel more depressed.
At first, I used to ask her about my father when my classmates used to ask me about my father.
Only did I know is he is dead.
I don't want anyone to ask about my father.
And, this can also be the reason for me to hate socialization.
But I cannot forget about the promise I gave to my Mom.
I promised her to socialize often to make myself feel happy.
But, the only things that made me happy was books and only books.
But she will not understand it.
And I don't her blame to blame herself for me, who don't like to socialize.
My Mom has done many things for me.
She have taken care of mine not only like a mother but also a father.
I wanted to make her happy.
Mom: "I am really sorry, Ari.
I have never been a perfect mother for you.
The happiness you deserved, I could not give it to you.
I am really very sorry as I know for me you are not able to make friends.
For me you don't socialize with your friends.
By saying about friends, I can't forget that I never let you to make friends."
Me: "Mom, please don't say these things to me.
Don't you know that how much I love you?
You are the most important person in my life.
Please don't blame yourself fo me not having friends."
Mom: "You have promised me that you will make new friends and hangout with them more often.
I have tought you to keep your promises.
Girls of your age hangout with their friends, party the whole night, gossips about their crushes, find out how to get laid, and most importantly sleeps with their boyfriends and lose their virginity.
Did you just roll your eyes of me?"
I just can't believe that this women was making me shed my tears a minute ago.
Is she for real?
Me: "Yes, I did.
Please stop saying those shots infront of me.
You want your daughter to lose her v-card with those manwh*res?"
Mom: "I was just giving some suggestions of enjoying your life.
Don't look amat that f*cking book."
Me: "Watch your language infront of your daughter."
Mom: "Whatever.
I think guys will love the fiesty ones who are hard to get in the bed.
Ari, will you stop looking at that book for God's sake?"
Me: "Please Mom, I am not in the mood."
Mom: "Are you missing Daniel from now onwards?"
Don't blush, don't blush.
Me: "Maybe a little."
F*ck, I shouldn't have said that to her.
Mom: "Oh my God.
I knew my little daughter has a very huge crush on Daniel."
Can this situation get more bad?
Me: "When will we arrive to our new house?"
Mom: "Why are you changing the topic?
I know that you and Daniel are true love birds from your childhood."
Me: "Mom, we are just friends."
Mom: "Wow, that's the dialogue by the actress of friends with benefits.
A-u-n-t-y, He's not my boy-friend, we are just friends.
Only friends."
Me: "Drive carefully, Mom."
Mom: "Look outside the car's window.
We have reached destination.
This house is bigger than our previous apartment"
O-M-G!
Me: "Mom, are you for real?"
Mom: "Yes, baby.
But may I know why are you asking this?"
Me: "Are you referring this huge bungalow as 'bigger than the previous one.'"
Mom: "Yes, why not."