I was waiting at the train terminal when someone suddenly called my name.
"Hey, Anna!"
I turned around to see who it was.
"Huh?! Jake!" I was shocked to see my classmate from elementary school.
"Anna! It's really you! How are you? It's been ages since we last met," Jake greeted me happily.
"Yeah, long time no see. I'm doing well, and I hope you are too. What are you doing here? Commuting by train?" I asked.
"No, of course not. You know I hate crowded places, standing for long periods, and all the chaos of commuting. I'm only here because it was raining earlier, and I just took shelter. You heading home already?"
"Ah, yes… so many things to do, including that pile of homework our teacher gave us. Are you alone?"
"No, I'm with my best friend Nath—" His words were cut off by someone calling him.
"Jake, what's up? I was worried when you ran off earlier. Did you run into someone you know?"
My body stiffened at the familiar voice. I turned to see Nathaniel.
"Oh… Hey Anna! Long time no see!" He said indifferently.
"Yeah… not since we graduated Junior High." I replied.
"You know each other?! What a coincidence," Jake asked, eyes wide.
"Yeah, we were classmates in Junior High." Nathaniel answered calmly.
Nathaniel… my first love... and my first boyfriend. Although our relationship hadn't lasted long, the memories came flooding back.
"Your hair… it's a lot shorter now. Only two years, and you've changed so much." He said, brushing the edges of my hair.
"You too. You dyed your hair. It looks cool."
"Thank you!"
Actually, I already knew about his hair from Facebook. I just lied to avoid letting him know I still looked at his posts. The truth is… I wasn't over him.
"A train will be arriving shortly," the announcement echoed.
"Oh… that's my train. I need to go. Bye, guys! See you!" I waved and started walking toward the track.
"Wait, Anna! I'll go with you. That's my train too. Let's go home together."
"Okay… Let's go." I said reluctantly.
(On the train)
The atmosphere was painfully awkward. I didn't know what to say or whether I should approach him. Should I ask about school? Or if he had a new girlfriend? No—that would make it obvious I still cared. Should I comment on the weather? No, I'd sound boring.
Sigh… I could still remember that day clearly.
(Flashback – Junior High)
"Ugh! I did terrible on the summative test," Nathaniel groaned.
"I studied, but none of the questions I expected came up." He added.
"You talk about school a lot," I said hesitantly.
"Sometimes, I think you…" I was interrupted by our classmates teasing us.
"Going home together? How sweet! So enviable!"
Nathaniel just smiled at them and turned to me.
"Sorry, what were you saying?"
I faltered.
"Nothing… it's not important."
"Anna… you always hesitate to say what's on your mind. Sometimes it's better to speak up. I'm here to listen, to share your worries—you don't have to carry everything alone."
His words made me feel safe enough to speak.
"Nathaniel… do you… like being with me?" I asked nervously.
"What kind of question is that?! Are you saying I'm not fun to be with?"
"No, it's just… when we're together, you only talk about school. I feel like you don't really care about me."
"Is that what you think? That I don't like you? That I don't pay attention? If so… why don't we just break up?"
I couldn't respond. I wanted to tell him I didn't want to break up, but I couldn't. I watched him walk away, heartbroken, wondering if he had ever truly loved me. We never spoke again until graduation.
(Back to the present)
Nathaniel and I sat silently on the train, waiting for our stops.
"It's been a while, huh?" He said abruptly.
"Since when?"
"Since the last time we sat beside each other. Remember? We were seatmates in Junior High. I also used to borrow your pencil whenever I forgot mine."
"Hahaha! Of course! I remember when the teacher thought you were cheating during an assessment, and you had to write a five-page apology letter. You refused my help… I liked that about you. Your thoughtfulness."
He laughed.
"You've changed. You used to lock everything inside. I'm glad you've learned to share your feelings."
My face turned red. I looked down, embarrassed.
The train announcement blared.
"Please exit the train on the right door."
"This is my stop." Nathaniel said, standing.
"Wait!" I grabbed his jacket.
"Yes?"
"Um… nothing. Bye! Take care!"
I wanted to ask him to stay longer, but I didn't.
Later, I noticed he left his umbrella. I reached for my phone… but I didn't have his number. I'd have to come to his school tomorrow. It's a good thing that I got a glimpse of his school's name on his ID lace earlier.
(The next day – Afternoon)
I waited at his school gate. When he appeared, I waved. He saw me and approached.
"Anna!? What are you doing here?"
"Oh… your... your umbrella. You left it on the train yesterday," I said, handing it to him.
"Thank you! I was worried someone would take it. Let me repay you," he said.
"No need," I said.
"I have to go now. I just came here to return your umbrella."
"But I'd feel bad if I let you leave like this," he insisted.
"Then… walk me home," I said resolutely.
He agreed immediately. My heart pounded as we walked.
"Anna… I was a brat in high school. I wanted to look cool, so I pretended to love studying more than anything. I was shy around you and didn't know how to talk. I know my actions made you feel insecure. I'm sorry." he confessed.
"It's okay. I was at fault too. I blurted hurtful words and doubted you. I'm sorry."
"Let's stop talking about it," he said, smiling.
I hesitated. "Do… do you have a girlfriend now?"
He hesitated, then said, "Well… actually, I do."
My chest tightened. "Oh… okay. Goodbye," I said, forced a smile and ran away.
(The next morning)
I tried to focus in class, but I couldn't. Half-day ended, and I saw Nathaniel waiting at the school gate. Panic surged—I ran.
He caught up.
"Anna!"
"Nathaniel!? What are you doing here?!"
"Why are you running? I waited, and you ran away!"
"I… I didn't know how to face you after yesterday."
"I lied," he said.
"What?"
"I don't have a girlfriend. I panicked yesterday and said that. I also pretended to have someone, thinking you might. But seeing how you acted, I realized you don't have a boyfriend, right?"
I felt a mix of shock and happiness.
"I was dying to see you. That's why I left my umbrella on the train—to have an excuse to see you again. I caused your pain, and I want another chance. I promise I won't hurt you again. Anna… will you be my girlfriend again?"
Tears welled up. "Nathaniel… I want that too."
He hugged me tightly. "Cry if you need to. I won't let go. I love you, Anna."
"I love you too," I whispered back, hugging him with all my heart.
~THE END~
Hoping for someone that you love dearly to come back could be painful... But no one can say for sure that the hope you're holding on to will end sadly and unbearably.