After a while, the proctor finally managed to stop Choji from trying to roll over Omoi, who, by then, was gasping for breath as Choji gave him a shy, apologetic smile when he was told he had won.
The next match was quickly declared, calling Naruto and Shikamaru into the arena.
"Let's go! I am going to kick ass!" Naruto exclaimed with a massive grin and instantly jumped over the railing of the contestant booth, entering the arena that way.
He landed in a crouch but quickly bounced back to his feet, walking to the pre-assigned starting position and almost shivering in anticipation while waiting for Shikamaru to arrive. He was simply far too excited and eager to show everybody what he was made of to stay still!
Everybody was going to see that Naruto Uzumaki was an awesome ninja today! Dattebayo!
The minutes slowly passed, and even Naruto's big, bright grin started to be affected as it dimmed and started to turn strained when, four minutes later, Shikamaru was still nowhere to be seen.
The audience was growing restless, and even the proctor frowned, "Shikamaru Nara. You are needed in the arena for your match. If you don't show in the next three minutes, you shall be disqualified!" The proctor loudly announced, and thanks to the sound amplifying seals, his voice spread throughout the entire arena.
Naturally, Shikamaru showed up only when the last minute was almost up, and both the audience and Naruto were very nearly seething.
He lazily shuffled into the arena through the door with his usual, slow Nara-esque slumped gait, opening his mouth wide for a yawn while his hands were too preoccupied being stuck in the pockets of his pants.
Giving the proctor a half-annoyed, half-sleepy look, Shikamaru gave a small, barely apologetic shrug, "Sorry, man. I was asleep." He sighed as he turned to Naruto with his usual, 'This is too troublesome and I don't wanna be here' expression.
"Haaa~. Do we have to fight, Naruto? Can't you just resign?" He asked, sounding a bit hopeful that he might get to slack off. But from his bored expression, it was obvious he didn't hold out that much hope for this to happen.
"Of course, we have to fight, Shikamaru! How else could we show everybody how amazing we are?!" Naruto vehemently protested, not liking the suggestion at all.
But he didn't take it to heart. He knew how Shikamaru was. It was a miracle the dude managed to walk into the arena.
Thinking that, Naruto's excitement lessened as he realized this might not be the awesome match he desired. He was not sure how much he could show off against Shikamaru.
Hell, the man might just resign the second the match starts! He certainly loved doing that in the academy. Naruto inwardly groaned. Just his luck to get him as an opponent.
"What a pain in the ass." Shikamaru groaned, "Well, it was worth a shot." His shoulders slumped even more before he shook his head in reluctant acceptance of his circumstances.
"Say, Naruto." He asked and raised his head to look the blonde menace straight in the eyes. He hesitated for a moment, not sure if he was going to regret his next words, but for the sake of his peaceful and lazy victory, he decided to continue. "We have known each other since the beginning of the academy."
Shikamaru trailed off for a bit, and Naruto gave him a curious look before he looked as if a lightbulb went off in his head. "Yeah? I am not going to go easy on you just because of that, Shika." He deadpanned, shaking his head.
"That's not what I mean." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "No hard feelings, no matter how this match turns out, yeah? Can we agree to that?"
"Oh! Sure." Hearing that, Naruto instantly nodded and gave Shikamaru a happy grin.
Shikamaru was not really his friend. More like a casual acquaintance. But it would have still been sad for Naruto if the result of the match estranged them.
This suited him just fine.
"No matter the means we use, alright?" Shikamaru tried to reaffirm, and Naruto decided to tease him a bit.
"Are you sure? If we agree to that, I can just pull the Konoha Pranskter King from Hell parade on you." His grin widened and turned foxy in anticipation.
Shikamaru grimaced, but nevertheless, he reluctantly nodded. "Don't forget it. You gave me your word."
"And I never go back on my word!" Naruto boisterously finished for Shikamaru and gave him a thumbs-up. "Believe it!"
"Well," Shikamaru drawled with a small smirk, "That's not always a good thing, but I guess it is at least something, considering you are neither smart," He gave Naruto a lazy, slow, and painfully obvious once-over, "nor good-looking."
"Oi! I am plenty smart and good-looking, you lazy bastard! Stop daydreaming!" Naruto showed an offended expression.
"Really? In that orange get-up?" Shikamaru gave him a doubtful look, "According to whom? Are they color blind?" He asked in a tone that made it clear he was very curious about this.
"Karin! And her sight is perfectly fine, just so you know!" Naruto exclaimed and gave Shikamaru a small glare, daring him to protest further.
But Shikamaru only widened his eyes for a moment before his expression returned to its perpetually lazy state, and he let out a small, amused chuckle.
"She calls you handsome, doesn't she?" He asked, giving Naruto a look full of pity.
"You bet!" But the look went over Naruto's head, and he only proudly puffed up his chest, remembering all the times when his girlfriend called him that.
"Naruto..." Giving the boy an unimpressed look, Shikamaru rubbed the bridge of his nose with a small, exasperated groan. "That's not a compliment."
Seeing his reaction, Naruto's brows furrowed, making him frown. That was not the reaction he anticipated from Shikamaru.
"Let me explain to you something simple." Shikamaru slowly started, "When two people have sex," Naruto's expression instantly turned beet red, but Shikamaru paid it no mind. "It is called twosome. When three people have sex, it is a threesome." He lazily grinned. "But with you, I am not really surprised that you are called handsome."
Naruto blinked. The proctor's lips curved up.
And then the audience got it before bursting into roaring laughter.
Naruto also understood the meaning, and his face flushed in fury. "Hey! Shut up! I and Karin have sex often enough!" He screamed without thinking, only for the laughter coming from the audience to increase.
Realizing what he had just admitted, Naruto's infuriation only increased, but now his red face was also because he was downright embarrassed.
"Somebody had to take pity on you." Shikamaru shrugged in an unbothered manner, practically screaming with his body language that he didn't believe Naruto.
That was the last straw.
Naruto gritted his teeth. "You bastard!" Seeing red, he rushed at Shikamaru, his fist prepared to swing.
Only for the proctor to body flicker into his path, blocking it.
"Uzumaki, return to the starting position. The match hasn't started yet." He casually reminded the boy.
For a second, it looked as if Naruto was going to stay defiant, but then he threw Shikamaru a stink eye and obediently turned around with a huff, walking back to where he stood a moment ago with a massive scowl adorning his face.
"Man, you are fast." Shikamaru admitted with a bit of admiration in his tone.
And despite the situation, Naruto couldn't help but grin a bit at the praise. But he was still angry at Shikamaru, so he tried to stifle it and give him a glare instead.
Nevertheless, Shikamaru noticed. His lips twitching in amusement, he continued, "I guess being chased by wit for your whole life was a good training for you. Even if you were always faster than it." Shikamaru chuckled.
It took a moment, but the dying laughter from the audience slowly reignited as the people started to get the meaning of Shikamaru's words. And even if Naruto didn't instantly get it, he understood from the audience's reaction that he was insulted.
Then, he figured out what Shikamaru meant, and his eyes twitched.
Highly annoyed at being called stupid, Naruto turned toward the proctor and pointed at him. "You! Start the match already! I am going to beat him so badly that his mom won't recognize him!" He angrily shouted, knowing full well that in a battle of words, he had no advantage. Not against Shikamaru.
"That would be the day." Shikamaru quietly muttered under his nose, but because of the seals, everybody heard his remark, and the audience laughed once again.
With his lips twitching in amusement, the proctor nodded. He looked toward Shikamaru, who shrugged, showing he didn't mind.
"Since both contestants are ready." He raised his arm into the air, and Naruto turned back toward Shikamaru, getting ready to rush him. He could already see it. He was going to pummel him like a... like a... well, he was going to think of something later. He was too angry to think straight right now!
"Let the match begin!" The proctor shouted and jumped back.
Feeling the rush of adrenaline, Naruto sprang forth...
Except, no, he didn't. Freezing in a place the second the match started, he tried to force his body to move, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't budge even an inch.
"What the hell is going on!?" He screamed, half in panic.
Shikamaru snickered. Leaving the opponents able to talk was a strategic thing. Not to mention, it was funny.
... It was a Nara thing.
"Let me show you." Shikamaru said and inclined his head down. Naruto's body mimicked his movement, and he also looked down, only for his eyes to widen when he noticed the small hole in the ground between his legs from where a thin tendril of shadow stretched, connecting to his feet.
His mouth opening and closing in disbelief, Naruto's body once again mimicked Shikamaru's, and his hand reached into his kunai pouch, pulling one out.
Conveniently, and fully deliberately, Shikamaru and the other Naras usually did not wear their pouches in the same position as most ninjas unless a plan required it, so even though he did the same motions, Shikamaru was only grasping air.
Bringing his hand toward his neck, Naruto put the sharp blade of the kunai to his throat with a bewildered expression.
Seeing that, the proctor sighed in exasperation. "Winner, Shikamaru Nara." He declared, giving Shikamaru a look that screamed, 'Seriously, kid?'.
He realized that all that trash talk was just a setup for this.
"Couldn't you at least pretend to fight for a bit?" He asked, annoyed. "How do you expect to earn a promotion like this?"
But Shikamaru just gave him a lazy grin back. "If I had to move or pull my hands from my pockets, it would have been troublesome." He nonchalantly shrugged.
Besides, drilling through the earth with only his shadows was a very hard thing. He might not look like it, but it took him considerable effort.
With the end of the Shadow Possession, Naruto fell on his butt, still in a small shock. But he was slowly recovering. Suddenly, he snapped back into reality and jumped back on his feet, pointing at Shikamaru with an indignant expression.
"You cheated!" He exclaimed.
"No, I didn't." Shikamaru smirked.
"No, he didn't." The proctor said at the same time.
The two looked at each other, and Shikamaru decided to let the proctor explain. Less effort for him that way.
"But the match hadn't started, and he was already doing something!" Naruto protested. When he rushed at Shikamaru, he was stopped, but using a technique was fine?
What a load of crap! Was that still fair!?
"Attacking your opponent before the match starts is forbidden. Preparing the battlefield, however, is not." The proctor explained. "Seriously, kid, we gave you the rulebook. Did you not read it?"
Naruto's expression said it all, and the proctor's eye twitched. He indeed did not bother reading it.
Shikamaru, looking at the clouds, chuckled.
"Naruto." He said, getting the sullen blonde's attention. "No hard feelings." He reminded him, making the scowl on Naruto's face bigger, but the boy reluctantly nodded in agreement.
Shikamaru did feel a bit bad. He knew how much Naruto wanted to show off to the crowd, and his strategy pretty much took that away from him. But life was not fair.
If it were, he wouldn't have to deal with Ino. And since he couldn't take his frustration out on one blonde, messing with this one would suffice for now.
"I am going back to sleep." With that, Shikamaru flickered away from the arena.
In the end, all went according to his plan. Now he could finally go hug his pillow!