Plot Armor: Congratulations, You’re the Problem Now

Hey, you. Yeah, you reading this synopsis. Look, I know what you're thinking. "Another overpowered protagonist story? Really?" But hear me out—this one's different. And not in the "it's different because I say it is" way, but in the "the main character literally can't follow normal story rules" way. My name is Alex Carter, and I'm trapped in a synopsis right now. Which is weird, because normally I exist in the actual story. But the universe runs on narrative logic, and apparently synopses count as meta-narrative space, so... here we are. Here's what happened: I ate a burger at an interdimensional diner. Now I have Plot Armor so powerful that reality itself can't make me follow a proper story structure. The corporate entities running the multiverse are very upset about this. Here's what's happening now: I'm in detention with other "broken" characters at Hero Academy. And yes, I mean actual detention—sitting in Room 404 after school because we're all "narrative compliance problems." Though honestly, detention with reality-bending misfits is way more interesting than regular detention with regular troublemakers. *** Here's what you're signing up for if you keep reading: - Me explaining complex worldbuilding through sarcastic commentary - A found family of narrative misfits who turned detention into a support group - Corporate dystopia where emotional energy is literally harvested for profit - A napkin who gained consciousness and won't stop giving me life advice - Academic satire meets multiverse bureaucracy - And yes, I'm still trying to finish that damn burger *** Fair warning: This story breaks the fourth wall so often that the fourth wall has filed a complaint with interdimensional HR. I will address you directly. I will comment on story tropes while they're happening. I will translate unnecessarily complex exposition into normal human language. Because if I have to live in a story that's trying to optimize my suffering for maximum emotional energy extraction, I'm at least going to make sure everyone understands what's really going on. Plot Armor is the story of what happens when someone with immunity to narrative consequences decides that maybe the whole "storytelling as corporate product" thing needs to stop. Also, my napkin wants me to mention that he's available for philosophical consultations and has strong opinions about proper narrative structure. —Alex Carter, currently stuck in synopsis format and looking forward to getting back to the actual story *** Reader discretion advised: protagonist may continue addressing you throughout the story. Side effects of reading include increased awareness of narrative manipulation and an inexplicable craving for burgers.